Letters
by C.N. Johns
Summary: Every year, on the anniversary of her death, he writes a letter to Kate.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Yet another post-Twilight from me. I'll try to update at least once a week until the end of the story. I plan to have this be almost 20 chapters.

Summary: Every year, on the anniversary of her death, he writes a letter to Kate.

* * *

Dear Kate,

It's been a year since you died. Abby doesn't cry anymore, Gibbs isn't nice anymore, and I can't sleep anymore. I lay there in my bed and think solely of you and you have done to me. I'm almost angry at the way you've affected my life. I then realize I'd rather be angry than numb.

We got a new agent. She sits at your desk. I look up at her and expect to see you, but it never happens because you're dead.

Sometimes I wish the plague had killed me. I would be alone for a while, but then you'd come and we would never be alone ever again. I miss you so much.

I don't know why I'm writing this letter. You'll never read it, but the therapist told us all we should do it.

McGee's evolving into a great agent. You'd be so proud of him. I am, but I'll never tell him. Gibbs is slightly less angry, now that Ari's dead. Plot twist: Our new agent was Ari's half sister. Ziva, the new agent, is alright. She puts up with me, but I can tell she hates it at NCIS. It took us a while to get used to her. Abby misses you and plays jazz music for you when she thinks that there's no one in the lab.

I miss you, Kate. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. It's like when you died, a part of us all died. I miss you.

I love you.

Sincerely,

Tony

* * *

Review! 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of your reviews!

* * *

Dear Kate,

It's been two years. I'm finally getting used to it, even though I don't want to.

The director finally fired Gibbs. Oh yeah, we got a new director. Gibbs was fired because instead of coming close to the boundaries, he started crossing them further and further. It's strange to say it, but I'm in charge now. I have McGee and Ziva on my team and I hear that I'm getting a new probie.

It's hard, even now, to think of NCIS without you. I remember all those times we fought. I wish I could take my stupidity back. I wish I could go back in time and tell you right from the start that I loved you. I tried dating since you died, but it hasn't worked out. I always think about you.

I almost wish I never knew you. That way, I wouldn't feel any of this. I then realize that when I think about my life, I can't explain it without you. I don't have a life without you.

Every day, as I walk into the office, I feel the stares in the back of my and I see as they hastily turn away. You see, since you died, I've been different. I don't really know how, but I guess that those who stare every day, they know. They know that the dark circles under my eyes are from you. The headache from my hangover, that's you too. The horizontal scars on my wrists are from you.

I miss you. I tried not to write it, but I couldn't. I couldn't lie to you or myself.

I love you.

Sincerely,

Tony

* * *

More reviews mean more updates! 


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I know it's been forever, but I honestly completely forgot about this story! I am so sorry!

* * *

Dear Kate,

It's been five years and I still miss you. You're like an ache that just won't go away, no matter how much medication you take.

I have my own team. None of them has ever heard of you and none of them knows why I have a drawer in my desk devoted to you. All they know is that Tony DiNozzo used to be crazy, now he's calm and serious. Exactly like Gibbs.

I visit Gibbs, he finished the boat. It sank. Gibbs started another one.

Ziva is still here, but she has her own team now too.

Abby and McGee have two girls. Twins. One's name is Kate, the other is Jane. Abby dresses them in black. McGee tries to add other colors to their wardrobe, but it's hard.

God, I miss you.

Love,

Tony


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I know, I am a horrible person, but I've been really busy and I leave for college on Thursday, so I don't know how the whole updating regularly thing is going to work out.

Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers who demanded that I update!

Dear Kate,

It's been ten years. Am I really that old? Every time I walk into work, I still expect to see you. It's been ten years and I will never get used to not seeing you everyday.

I know I made fun of you. I wish I could take that back.

I met someone. I have dreaded writing those words for about eight months now.

We're getting married.

I want you to know I still love you and I always will. I can never forget you. What's weird is that at times, she'll be exactly like you and at other times she'll be just the opposite.

I'm in charge now. I'm the director. They say it's like I became Gibbs, but friendlier.

Did I ever tell you that Ari was killed. We killed that bastard, Kate.

My fiancee's name is Vanessa. No, she's not a stripper. Vanessas don't always have to be strippers. She's not a model either. She's perfectly normal and yet extremely unique all at the same time. She works at a museum. Yes, I am going to marry and intelligent woman, Kate.

I still miss you Kate. Vanessa knows that and knows that I love you, but she's okay with that. I love her so much.

Bye Kate.

Love, Tony


End file.
